For 20 years I waged Jihad against myself. I struggled, all throughout to remain standing in prayer at night. For those twenty years I never tasted the sweetness of the night prayer. It was only after that I found comfort and sweetness.
These are the words of one of the greatest scholars of the early generation. Al-Imam Sufyan Ath-Thawri (161 H) is known as one of the Eight Ascetics of his age. He was, rahimahullah, Abid – a worshipper.
Twenty years of Jihad by night! And no sweetness was experienced by Ath-Thawri (rahimahullah)?
Nevertheless he kept the course with unwavering inspirational sabr. He struggled in fear, campaigned in love, and toiled in hope of Allah.
Tahajjud, from “ha-ja-da” meaning “vigilant by night,” consumed in devotional prayer.
It is a reality that for many the thought of prayer, obligatory not voluntary, results in sluggishness of form and drowsiness in invocation.
We pray, but do we?
We call out, but do we?
We attempt remembrance, but do we?
Twenty years of Jihad – “Jaahattu Nafsi,” the Imam said. Twenty years of comfort and difficulty, prosperity and adversity, happiness and sorrow, wealth and poverty, fear and security, births and deaths, love and animosity. Constancy in worship through all conditions and experiences of life is unique.
Allah describes the animosity that a believer has for the comfort of their soft bedding. In Surah As-Sajdah (32:16-17), the verse is usually translated as:
“Their sides Jafaa (forsake) their beds, to invoke their Lord in fear and hope, and they spend (charity in Allahs Cause) out of what We have bestowed on them. No person knows what is kept hidden for them of joy as a reward for what they used to do.”
In fact the word “Jafaa” is much more contemptuous. Allah describes the physical being of a believer as despising their bed and the comfort it invites.
Ash-Shafiee (rahimahullah) would touch his bed and say, “May you be destroyed. You are ever so soft and inviting.”
Abu Haneefah (rahimahullah) was asked how often he recites the Quran in its entirety. He asked in response, “Do you mean during the day or by night?” During the night, the questioner inquired. The Imam asked, “Do you mean while in Tahajjud or out of prayer?”
Subhan Allah!
Our audacity, at times, tempts us to feel content with our current level of devotion and Ibadah (worship). The internet becomes our Dawah, the Masjid our hangout, and the brothers – da brothas. Our Ibadah is weak but our talk is uninhibited. Our dreary lives, jobs, lack of jobs, idle free time and stress cause us to have grandiose self-assessments and an over estimation of our true nearness to the Divine. The response within us reflectively is dismissive in its oversimplification.
“That was then, this is now. That was Al-Imam Sufyan and I am merely Yahya.”
So we fail to change or improve. We look for quick fix solutions to problems in our life that are spiritual ailments that require a rejuvenation of Faith.
Once upon a time, 10 years or more ago, I was as asleep in a hotel room thinking I was alone. Little did I know that my teacher Sheikh Mohammed Safwat Nooredeen (rahimahullah) arrived in the middle of the night to take possession of his room wherein I was asleep due to a scarcity of rooms in the hotel which was attached to a conference I was (attending). No one informed me that it wasnt actually my room, and that they just put me in it knowing that I was his student and wed make do whenever he finally arrived. There I was, snoring away.
At first I was scared hearing what sounded to me like soft huffs and puffs. I recited Ayatul Kursi. A soft whine and moan ensued. Someone or something was crying.
I sat up and looked around while fumbling for the lamp switch at the same time trying to grab my glasses, all the while reciting Ayatul Kursi. Heart beat off the chart and I am ready to swing.
Prostrate in the corner of the room was my Sheikh. He was praying his night prayer. He had arrived, ate an apple, made his ablution and did what came natural. He prayed and bowed. He stood and prostrated.
At first I thought that this was because of restlessness and inability to sleep due to the time change. But I knew his Ibadah was solid. Outwardly is what I am witness to, and inwardly Allah grants the reward.
I made wudhu and joined him. He informed me in the morning of the words of Ath-Thawri. He was so polite in his advice. Dont snore away your night was the accusation. Even if you dont relish the worship, remember Ath-Thawri. Allah have mercy on our scholars and students.
Ath-Thawri also said, “I was barred from praying Tahajjud for five months on account of a sin I committed.”
Some said to Ibn Masood (may Allah be pleased with him), “We are unable to perform the night prayer.” He responded simply, “Your sins are prohibiting you (from it).”
Allah orders the Messenger early on in the mission of conveying Islam to humanity:
“O you who wraps himself (in clothing), arise (to pray) the night, except for a little – half of it – or subtract from it a little or add to it, and recite the Quran with measured recitation.” (Quran, 73:1-4)
Half the night!? For real?
Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her) says, “Do not ever stop standing in prayer at night. The Prophet (peace be upon him) never ceased praying it. When he was sick or weak, he prayed sitting.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
My aim is not to dazzle myself and you with verses and Ahadith extolling virtue upon those who stand in prayer at night. It is simply to ask, “Why is it so hard for me?”
So I write to you to remind myself.
I want to pray more than I do, more often than I do, in a more tranquil way than I do, for longer and humbler than I do.
I want us to be from those who sleep little at night but find energy and Barakah in their day. I want to greet the dawn each and every morning having made my Jihad by night. I want to find comfort and ease in that Ibadah that is the hallmark of righteousness.
“Indeed, the righteous will be among gardens and springs, accepting what their Lord has given them. Indeed, they were before that doers of good. They used to sleep but little of the night, and in the hours before dawn they would ask forgiveness.” (Quran, 51:15-18)
“Is one who is devoutly obedient during periods of the night, prostrating and standing (in prayer), fearing the Hereafter and hoping for the mercy of his Lord, (like one who does not)? Say, Are those who know equal to those who do not know? Only they will remember (who are) people of understanding.” (Quran 39:9)
I want my wife to hose me down with water, or maybe just a sprinkle as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said.
Abu Hurayrah reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “May Allah have mercy on a man who wakes up at night, prays, and wakes his wife to pray; and if she refuses, he sprinkles water on her face. And may Allah have mercy on a woman who wakes up at night, prays, and wakes her husband to pray; and if he refuses, she sprinkles water on his face.” (Abu Dawood and it is Sahih)
Al-Hasan Al-Basri (another of the Eight Ascetics) was asked: “We are unable to perform the night prayer so prescribe us a cure.” He said, “Do not disobey Him during the day and He will help you stand before Him during the night.”
Oh Allah! Help me to remember you, thank you, and be better in my worship.
Oh Allah! Help me to wake up in your worship and to be consistent in it.
Oh Allah! Allow us to worship you as you deserve to be worshipped.
Oh Allah! Grant us patience in your worship.
I ask you my brother and sister to ask Allah to help me and my family worship Allah when others are oblivious in slumber. – Muslim Matters
